IS taylor Swift a Sellout?

Is Taylor Swift a Sellout?

This article is brought to you by Banner’s own Ryan Occhiogrosso. Just kidding, but he was the inspiration behind this entire read if you saw our most recent podcast episode 19 of The Banner Show. And thanks to you, I had to go listen to Teardrops on My Guitar. She sings about a guy named Drew and now I can’t help but laugh every time because I think she’s singing about me. So thank you. If you’re reading this, you better already be subscribed to YouTube. If not, boy do we have more hot takes if you like this one. So go follow! 

So before you even got this far, I’m sure there are many people that have already unfollowed, hate commented on this post or have reached out directly to a Banner member to announce their displeasure of this headline. “How could you employ someone that writes articles slandering Taylor Swift?” Well I work for free and I thoroughly enjoy doing it so joke’s on you I guess? Wait, I don’t know. But for the supporters that DID get this far, why are you here? Do you agree with me? Or do you just want to hear my opinions then set up a debate? I’ll go to any college campus with my folding table and be ready for any Swifty that wants this heat. You can’t get in my head, I’ll just Shake it Off. Ok, I promise I won’t do that again ;)

But why am I being such a hater? Well Ryan started it. But then I started thinking (and now my head hurts). The world seems to be very divided on Taylor Swift. Does anyone genuinely know somebody that’s a casual fan? You’re either batshit crazy about her, or you just simply don’t care. Find me someone that’s in between, they don’t exist. And there also seems to be a big correlation to girls with gummy smiles that go to Disney World 3 times a year. I’m sure we just lost even more followers after that comment. But I digress. We can talk all day about how much of a lame songwriter she is, but we’re here to talk about her straying away from everything she’s ever believed in and why she’s a sellout in our minds. 

Let’s start with this ridiculous wedding she’s rumored to be having at Madison Square Garden. Remember when she was courtside for the Knicks in the NBA Finals? Seems she was doing some reconnaissance work. Or was she? She WAS born only 130 miles from New York City in Pennsylvania. If she claims she’s a Knicks fan, I’ll give her that. But where has she been for all the other games? Where was she during the Obi Toppin rookie year? That’s right. She’s a bandwagon. Only shows up for the good. A necessary ingredient for selling out. But why is having her wedding in MSG such a sellout move? Because what person that grew up with one brother, that’s not Italian, needs a wedding with 1,000+ people? Trust me, my wife is Italian. Our wedding had a ton of random family members I met and haven’t seen since that day. So it must be Travis Kelce wanting all those invites. Right? 

Which leads me to my next hot take within a hot take. I think Taylor Swift is a sellout for marrying Travis Kelce. Not because she needs anything resembling fame or money associated with him. But Kelce is a giant cornball when it comes to anything other than playing football and goes against everything Swift has ever sang about and stood for. She literally fell in love with the jock that slid into her DMs. It started as a joke and now here we are. This really reminds me of Not Another Teen Movie. Such a classic, go watch and tell me this isn’t the same. “She’s wearing overalls!”

Kelce’s jock persona goes further than just playing football. Remember Catching Kelce? In 2016, Travis put on a dating show where 50 women competed for his love. They all lost, nobody was famous enough for him. But what did he get out of it? A bunch of chicks kissing the toes of his giant ego and plenty of screen time. This opened up the door to him entering the world of celebrity fame on the screen and he just couldn’t stop there. How many people think him reaching out to Taylor Swift was out of love for her or her music? It was a, “Hey I’m famous and you’re more famous. Come watch a game sometime.” Classic high school love story. 

If you’re really that in love, why do you need to spend $20 million (allegedly) on a venue in the middle of NYC with that many random people? Who are these people? And are they there to be in the presence of love, or just say they were at the Swift/Kelce wedding because it’s the hot event? I know one person that won’t be invited and that’s Scooter Braun. The amount of rumored security and ‘all eyes on us’ mentality just doesn’t speak to what Swift has portrayed throughout her career. So I blame the doofus tight end. I can only imagine what Jason’s best man speech is going to look like. I can see him now, waving around one of his Garage Beers (which aren’t good and only have like 4% abv), telling hilarious stories that only Travis and some other bros will be laughing at while Taylor crouches in embarrassment and wonders why she’s marrying into this idiot family. I don’t know which will be more cringy; the speech or their next episode of the podcast. What kind of grown men start a podcast? Honestly. 

But however much money this venue is costing, Taylor pulls that amount out of her coinpurse. With a net worth of nearly $2 billion, she can front the bill. Travis is just there for the Garage Beers and whatever celebrities show up to his ‘Big Day.’ 

But one day isn’t enough to label someone a complete sellout. So how about an entire tour? Swift’s Eras tour generated a rumored $5 billion for the global economy. Mainly because people’s parents had to go into debt just to take their kid to the show. What a role model! What kind of example are you setting when your tickets are more than people’s rent. How many underprivileged fans were able to go to those shows? How many… never mind, I’m not going to say it. I’ll just say her shows were very one-sided when it came to a certain demographic. Maybe if her shows weren’t starting at $1,000 per ticket, I’d have a little more respect for her. 

How many of you think this is true love? How many want to place an over/under on this marriage lasting less than…. Let’s say 7 years? We’ll put it in the Banner Breakdown when the time comes. Hopefully the podcast makes it that long. Whether you’re a Taylor or Travis fan, we can all be happy that Taylor finally confirmed something; she is indeed the problem. It’s her.